Reasons to Start Smoking
77There's a million articles out there that outline reasons to quit smoking. Most people will tell you never to start - even smokers would say the same. The dangers of smoking are many: Tobacco companies put addictive substances in their cigarettes that will get you hooked on their smooth delicious products. Once you start, your body will adapt and soon, like millions of other smokers you will go crazy without your daily cigarettes. You will actually seek out a behaviour that pipes hundreds of varying toxins into your bloodstream. Eventually, you will be desperately searching for ways to stop smoking. There is a long list of horrible consequences associated with the habit – and everyone knows that. But for the sake of argument, let’s look at the other side of the coin. Here are some reasons to smart smoking. Read them, and then decide for yourself if it might be for you.
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Reasons to Start Smoking
No one wants to live forever and if you smoke, you won’t have to. Do you really want to grow old and lose your faculties while struggling to maintain your relevancy in a world that refuses to slow down for you? Most old people today don’t know how to use a computer, and they sure as heck don’t know what facebook and twitter are. By the time you are old, there will be some new-fangled technology that will be as equally confounding to you. Even asking about how such technology works will elicit rounds of laughter from your grandchildren who will all exclaim, “Oh Grandpa is so cute!” Why bother? Pick up smoking and die earlier, thereby preserving your dignity without subjecting yourself to the uncaring eyes of future generations who only consider you a relic from the past.
Put non-smokers in their place. There is nothing more annoying than a non-smoker telling you how bad smoking is. We all know how bad smoking is, there is no need to tell anyone. There are thousands of scientific sources that tell us how bad smoking is. If a smoker isn’t going to listen to science, what makes them think they are going to listen to you? The troubling news is, there are statistics that show the number of non-smokers is on the rise. Does the world really need more sanctimonious do-gooders nosing into your personal business? Certainly not. The team of smokers need more recruits, more soldiers to fight for personal freedoms and minding your own G-D business. If you join the side of smoking, you can be literally blow smoke in the face of people who want to tell the rest of the world how to live their lives – and you will look cool while doing it.
Participate in the economy. The tobacco industry and its related products are a billion dollar enterprise. If you don’t smoke, you don’t get to be a part of it. Without your help, millions of people involved in cigarette manufacturing, nicotine replacement products, and even ashtray making, would go broke. You might not care about the bigwig tobacco executives but what about their Ferrari dealerships? What of their jet dealers, personal yacht salesmen, and gold-robot servant providers. Do you want to be responsible for the elimination of so many jobs? Who will buy teeth whitener and bad breath products without the common smoker? Certainly, coffee drinkers cannot bare that burden alone.
While there are many reasons to quit smoking, there are equally as many reasonable reasons to start smoking. This article has outlined just a few. If you were to start smoking today, within a few short weeks you would discover for yourself many more delightful and unexpected benefits of smoking. Such benefits include the development of a unique and distinct odour that is highly attractive to other smokers (and racoons). You can also explore more public areas that you previously ignored, but as designated smoking zones, will become more common to you as your smoking progresses. Exciting locations like doorways, patios, and even alleys! Doctors will urge you not to smoke and plead with you not to become a statistic. But why not? Being a statistic at least means you counted for something – and in this case it means you were one in a number of people who enjoyed life, smelled like a tar swamp but didn’t care, and died early enough to avoid having to live with all the horrible mistakes you made. Smoking is not as bad as you think and don’t let anyone tell you different.
Stop Smoking Aids
Reasons to Stop Smoking
Found my reasons to start smoking too convincing? Here are some reasons to STOP smoking that you might not have thought about.
1. Food tastes better. Actually that’s one of the reasons why people tend to gain weight after stopping smoking. That lovely bowl of cherries is supposed to taste like cherries, not like your Art professor’s sweater vest.
2. Improve your complexion. Anyone who has serious acne knows how frustrating and embarrassing it can be. Smoking has a nasty way of blocking pores and cutting off the blood supply to skin cells. Not all smokers have acne, but if you have acne-prone skin then smoking certainly won’t help.
3. Don’t turn into a Simpson. Smoking and cigarettes have a nasty way of turning everything yellow. So that means your teeth and your fingers. Oh, but probably not your lungs because those will go black.
4. Smoking doesn’t just cause cancer. There are plenty of things smoking does to your body that can be considered worse than death. Want to carry around an oxygen tank for the rest of your life? How about having a hole in your mouth to breathe from? Ok, so those things are actually pretty cool, but there’s other stuff like emphysema and bronchitis that you have to watch out for.
5. Do something with your life. If nothing else, you can say that you quit smoking and that’s a pretty big accomplishment.
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Ok, so you didn’t get the point of the above article and now you’re hooked on smoking. Don’t worry, there’s plenty of stop smoking aids out there to help you to kick the habit. Here’s a brief overview to get you started.
Nicotine replacement
When it comes to stop smoking aids, these are probably the most common. The two main ones are patches and gum. People used to complain about the taste of the gum, but they’re pretty similar to regular gums now. If you were to chew on a piece of mint nicotine gum you probably wouldn’t be able to taste the difference. Well except for the fact you would start to sweat and your throat would burn and you would generally feel nauseous. Nicotine inhalers are also becoming increasingly popular for their size and ease of use. These things spray nicotine into your throat and they’re shaped like cigarettes which is supposed to help simulate smoking.
Patches – These stick to your body and leak nicotine into your bloodstream throughout the course of the day. It may take a while to remember to apply them correctly each day, but it shouldn’t be too hard with experience.
Gum – Some people find this useful because it keeps their mouth occupied. But long time smokers may take some time to adjust to the difference in nicotine levels. For a quick fix during an emergency situation, these things are pretty handy in cutting down cravings.
Zyban
This stop smoking aid has an interesting history as an anti-depressant. Eventually it was found to help with quitting smoking too. That’s a pretty good side effect considering all of the other weird side effects associated with other medications (ie. a four hour erection). You need a prescription for this medication, and one of the downsides is that it can be pretty expensive.
Acupuncture
The effectiveness of this stop smoking aid will depend on how much faith you have in acupuncture. For those who use this method, most claim that it doesn’t help cut down on cravings directly. Rather, it is useful for relieving the stress and withdrawal symptoms during quitting.
- Stop Smoking Now - Like Right Now!
Once you start smoking, you are potentially embarking upon a life-long journey filled with addictive struggle. No one will ever give you reasons to start smoking, but lots of people have opinions on which...
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Thanks! And thanks for being my first comment ever...looking forward to reading your work too.
You are outrageously wise. You also took the words right out of my husband's mouth. I like you both.
He's gonna get jealous.
Haha...this is really funny. I love it.
Thanks Casey!
Damn, I knew smoking was a great idea!
Thanks for the justification, Muktu...
Laurel
this is great....looking forward to reading more.
Although it may sound humorous with a bit of dark satire , my mother is battling for her life right now all due to smoking. She is on her second round of blood transfusions due to chemotherapy. I honestly wish I could laugh at this one but it is very complicated when some will read this not in the same way as others and believe that smoking is great but many of us know it is not. I don't wish to burst your bubble but you are promoting something that is negative and for the first time,please do not become offended but I do not find happiness in this hub. I do not mean to be a party pooper but as I see my mom struggle and my husband is in remission It hurts me when anyone even if it is meant in humor tries to promote something so bad. :(
I sincerely hope that I can relax and see the humor but right now I cannot. :(
I totally agree with AEvans and disagree with all the others here. This hurts the feelings of many people, plus it makes smoking look cool to those that are stupid enough to believe it.
Thanks for your comments. Any and all feedback is much appreciated.
From my point of view, this hub is decidedly anti-smoking. There is a deeper message beyond the title. Obviously, someone who is being touched by cancer in their lives will be sensitive to the subject and as a result, it will be harder to find humour in the situation. It is not my intent to attack those people or make light of their situation. My real target is smoking itself, as the activity gets a full-on attack in my article.
You are both worried that people will read the article and misinterpret my meaning. I don’t think that will happen. People might not find it funny, they might not even like it, but I don’t think anyone is going to read this and be convinced to start smoking. If anything, for people able to read below the surface of the article, they will find a long list of reasons never to start smoking.
hahaha! wonderful!
This hub has sparked a bit of a debate in the forums with a post titled "harmful advice".
Like I said in the forums only a moron would go out and start smoking after reading this. A programming friend is always saying "You can't outsmart stupidity". Those lacking two brain cells to rub together are doomed to fail regardless.
well, muktu, my own mother died of lung cancer. I didn't find that funny, but I found your Hub funny and I got right away that it was anti-smoking. I don't see how anyone would not get the satire or anti-smoking stance, personally.
so now, you have the longer response. hope that helps.
@Haunty I agree with you I believe what many of us forget is that our pages are on the Internet they are not set to private. We monitor our children but some parents do not, there are children who may read it and think it is cool.
I contacted a few of our friends and asked them to review this hub with there 9-year olds, the report was there children didn't get the satire and there perception was that is was cool to smoke. The point I am trying to get across because both you and I see the humor but we are looking deeper into ourselves and thinking about the tiny generation of people.
@ Muktu the hub is well written and although I am going through my own personal issues right now as you know based on my last comment. It is the outside World that is looking in at our writing. Maybe you could put a little note on the very bottom that says that you are not promoting smoking so that those children who may run across this hub and not understand what you are saying will realize that it is meant in jest. Just a thought as for your writing overall and reading some of your others hubs your hubs are great and I can bet that Haunty would also agree. :)
Muktu, I get your humor. Keep at it and keep those cute little illustrations coming too.
It's amazing Muktu. Keep it up!
@AEvans, you said it better than I could. Unfortunately, people here are still more concerned with proving they get the humor than willing to hear us out on this. This hub is not even categorized as humor. But that's not the point. The point is, as you said, not everyone will 'get' the humor.
@MyWebs, it is nowhere stated in the forum that the debate is about this hub. Just to be clear on that.
@Muktu, I understand that for the sake of cheap showmanship people will go all sorts of lengths. Apparently there are no boundaries to your talent as a comedian.
Fantastic hub. If anyone is tempted to actually start smoking after reading this, then may I suggest that they go right ahead and do so, 'cos they're clearly so stupid that they'd be doing the world a favour by leaving the gene pool early!
Hi Haunty,
I have no problem approving your comments on this thread so that you can get your views out, but I’ll kindly ask you to refrain from the insults. I don’t think I did anything to warrant your last comment directed at me personally.
AEvans,
I get your point about kids coming across this type of article and the possibility of misinterpretation. But I dunno...if an unattended child reads this article and thinks smoking is cool, then I’m going to put some of the responsibility on the parents for leaving the child alone on the internet in the first place. If on the other hand a parent is with the child while perusing the internet then that parent should be able to explain the real gist of the article. If we all write articles based on the possibility that an unattended eight year old might see it, then a lot of stuff isn’t going to get written. So yes, it’s horrible if a child reads this and gets convinced to smoke – but what is that child doing alone on the internet in the first place? It can’t be all my fault, especially when I’m not actually saying smoking is a good thing. Please don’t misunderstand, I am not discounting what you’re saying. I think it is a valid concern and I’m just adding my two cents into the debate.
Thanks to everyone else you read and supported this Hub. I don’t want this type of thing to happen again so I hope you enjoy my next article, “How to Drop out of School and Rob Banks”.
excellent response. it's like some kind of two for one deal - a laugh reading you and then admiration and another laugh reading your response.
bravo
muktu: excellantly composed piece of work mate. Thoughally enjoyed it in its entirety. YEs it would be easy to take out of context portions of it and portary the wrong idea to others as certain people are trying to say that you are. The use of humour to highlight the dangers of a deadly habit, especially in this case, has been thoughtfully prepared and distributed. and it is a tactic often used throughout history. Keep up the clever humurous and incitefull writing mate
Hi Muktu,
Please, feel free not to approve my comments. People are familiar with my views.
You have written this hub personally and I'm not used to talking to people in a roundabout way.
My arguing with you seems unfair, so I'll state my reasons, and how your hub reads to me from a looking-below-the-surface perspective.
In the beginning you employ a known manipulation technique by using statements (as per the harmful effects of smoking) that everyone would agree on, creating a long 'yes string' and setting the mood for people to agree with you throughout the hub. Then follows a huge 'but', which apparently suggests that you have some secret 'truth' beyond the things already said. Then you present your argument in a humorous way backing it up, again, with 'truths'.
1. No one lives forever anyway.
2. No one likes to be told how to live.
3. Smoking obviously helps a segment of the economy and people working there.
4. Like attracts like. People who smoke like people who smoke better.
Finally, you conclude the article with a... sorry, but ridiculous cest la vie sentiment, which is actually no more than letting go of a sense of responsibility and making it look good.
I hope you didn't take this as a personal insult.
P.S. There are carrier opportunities for you in the forum. ;)
I thought this was very cute. I love this kind of humor. ;)
Hi Haunty,
According to the thread on the forum you’ve already flagged this Hub for possible removal, so how about we just let the Hub Gods decide its fate. If it violates the TOS and it really is that super horrible, then it will be removed and case closed. But if they let it stay how’s about just letting this one go. That would be cool thanks.
We just have two different styles (although the same viewpoint which is that we both disapprove of smoking). I went over and read one of your Hubs today and I’m probably not going to read anymore. I would be perfectly fine if you never read any more of my Hubs either. In fact I’d like to un-invite you from reading any more of my Hubs. You won’t like them, and they aren’t for you. In return I promise:
1.Never to read any of your articles
2.Never to flag any of your articles for removal
3. Never to post comments on any of your articles about how much I hate that particular article.
I really am just a small fish in a big pond. Up until all this happened a grand total of eighty people had read this Hub. And I’m gonna guess out of that eighty, oh I dunno...ZERO started smoking after reading.
Isn’t this stuff supposed to be fun? We write our little articles, we post them, people read them and make comments that make us feel nice. Isn’t that the basic point of this? I think you are going to find a lot less enjoyment out of the process if you suddenly decide to become the Hub Police and wage war against everything you don’t agree with. That’s not the point of HubPages at all, and taking on the role of enforcer is only going to raise your stress levels and get you riled up against stuff that really isn’t a huge deal. It probably doesn’t help that a lot of people seem to disagree with you and think the article if fine. Just let it go and get back to writing. I promise I won’t get into any more trouble over here. Don’t worry, things aren’t going to fall apart without you keeping an eye on my articles for me.
Peace Out
Dear Muktu, Haunty has posted a thread in apology. I think your hub is funny. I am trying to quit smoking and what you have done here is clearly highlight all of the reasons I should. I have grandchildren and I want them to laugh at me when I am old and like my Grandmother, can't find my glasses, which are of course on top of my head.
Thank you for putting all of this in perspective, if we can't laugh at ourselves, we are in trouble.
hahah!! so funny, we should careful kids dont read this...LOL
Muktu, Just like Faybe has just posted, Haunty has openly apologised. This is a sign that is really sorry for what he did.
Cheers!
muktu. don't fall for it. beware of long histories, anonymous proxies and crocodile tears. ;)
real people are going to love you as they discover you. I wouldn't worry about a few truly unsafe people not being a 'fan' and from reading your comments, I already get it that you get that. :)
I have came back to read this hub again with an open mind and not placing any of my own issues that are going on in my life at the current time. After reading it again, it is quite humorous and I agree, if parents cannot monitor there children then there is an issue. You do have another hub that tells everyone why a person should not smoke. It is not normal for me to be so negative, sometimes I show my emotions which I apologize for, I was happy to become a fan and your hubs are truly funny and all of us need to laugh once in awhile. :)
Haunty did apologize and I am certain by now all over the indifferences were mended, he really is an abundance of joy to be around. :)
You must be doing something right if some people can loathe you as passionately as those that love you.
in on that. go darkside!
This was funny, however I would never start smoking. I don't want to live forever either but lung cancer is a bad way to go.
@Haunty you are right the original forum post never mentioned this specific hub, but I knew which one you meant. That much was obvious, and I was right since all of your comments here prove this.
@AEvans If a minor isn't old enough to understand this is satire then they surely should not be online unsupervised. It is mom and dads job to keep them safe online. Maybe a 9 year old wouldn't get this, but who lets a 9 year old online unsupervised? Yea, Yea I know many parents do. Well they are not doing their job as parents. FAIL
Okee Doke. Apology accepted. No hard feelings. I think we can consider this one over and done.
A sincere thanks to readers who voiced their support. I wish I had more time to respond to more of your comments. I look forward to reading more of your own work in the near future.
LOL! I think this hub would have took less heat, if you would've placed it in the Entertainment category as opposed to the Health section. Personally, I thought this was a humorous hub and I enjoyed it. Ha-ha! :D
Lol, this article serves my day! It's funny and one of its kind. You should write more on this!
I liked this hub; after a day, it certainly bought a smile to my lips...
And AEvans, I totally understand how you could be offended that someone would state these ideas - even as a joke. Right now my boyfriend is incarcerated, I would totally be a bit offended if the a there was a post about guys breaking parole; although I'm not sure if I would go out and do research regarding the article.
Sometimes you just need to realize that not everyone has the same experiences as you and therefore views things differently; you can't control other people - just yourself. So either don't read Hubs that have a possibility of offending you, or read them, and then curse the author under your breath, not in the comments section.
I liked the hub; it was well written, catchy, thought-provoking, and humerus.
Kudos!
I found this funny too, and ironically only found the hub after reading the forum against it. As an ex-smoker I saw the irony and it made me giggle, so keep up the good work.
Smoking is something i cannot tolerate. Anyways, that was a fun read.
Hi i'm new to Hubs - But i write a weekly column in a newspaper covering my (failed) attempts to give up smoking. They are in my hubs and I'd appreaciate any readers as like i said, i am a new 'hubber'!! x
i don't really get the point of you writing this article in the first place, you've written with the intent of anti-smoking(by what you say and 'think'), but the article goes totally bizarre. This article sure wont inspire a non-smoker to pick a cigarette but the smokers are sure to get a pat on the back and feel good about it, which is very pathetic. If you are really on the anti-smoking side i suggest you delete this hub since it serves no purpose on the contrary even those are having hint of quitting will get a boost and will not even think about. Because everybody knows getting out of that habit is not an easy task as it is to start.
Refreshing anti-smoking perspective. Any reasonably intelligent person would appreciate your hub for what it is and enjoy a few laughs. Good work Muktu!
Very funny article! I'm a former smoker and yes, from time to time I miss it. However, all those cool new venues to discover squashed any thoughts of taking up the habit any time soon. As you probably know, we former smokers are the preachiest bunch you will ever meet, and you just showed me a better way to get the point across without being so sanctimonious. Great hub!
your article is funny buy electronic cigarettes poop on your saying
ROFLMFAO! This is a great article Haha. I was gonna make my boyfriend a presentation about why i want him to stop. This'll help me get to him that i totally understand why he smoke and why he should stop. Thanks dude! ;)
I Started when i was 11, and i hated it at first then i thought hey, why not, i enjoyed the feeling of "badness"
HAh! what an amusing hub. I like the image, too. Going to go check out some more of your hubs to see what other laughs you may bring!
It is just cool - the hub I mean. Why does everybody always turn crazy about the topic of smoking. Sure it is not healty but so are fish and chips and drinking and little exercise and stress and and and. I think it must be up to everybodys own head or mind to decide what fun she or he wants to have and what consequences she or he will have to bear. I am 18 and live together with my best friend Sandra and smoking is certainly going to kill me in the next 20 years and most probably Sandra wont reach 50 too. I am not joking, since 4 years I know I am suffering from cystic fibrosis, which is a disease which cannot be healed and lets me have coughing spasms and a high amount of mucus and phlegm. Sandra is anorexic and so skinny you can count every bone and people always find it amazing she can walk with legs thin like matches. So now you know we are both very sick but we decided to smoke. With full knowledge it will kill us - especially me with my rotten lungs. Why we smoke. Because it is absolutely crazy and bad and it feels good, it helps to sooth the pain in my chest, it helps me cough up the phlegm better and we are totally addicted and love it. So this is my attitude to smoking and I ask for respect because it is sometimes not easy to know you are dying but I have to cope with it and it is my body. And I have high respect for every young girl that does not start to smoke and stands peer pressure but I have the same respect for the lady with chronic broncitis or even as I met during my last hospital stay, a 43 year old lady suffering from lung cancer, they took out her left lung and 5 days after the operation she stood with me on the balcony smoking a cigarette without filter and telling me she never felt so good.
Excellent hub! Hilarious. Kudos.
That's Great Work!
Really funny. Smoking just looks cool.
Just loved it! I have been a smoker for 40 years and I still smoke today, although the campaign for quitting is getting stronger. To all doctors amazement I am in excellent health and they can’t wrap their heads around it – since most of the time – smoking is their best explanation to everything a patient may suffer from, including an ingrown toenail.
My personal theory about my good health goes like that: germs are brilliant creatures and that is why they survived for millions of years; they know better than to find refuge on my body and, in their infinite wisdom, will prefer the ones who take vitamins by the hand full.
It may not be highly scientific, but it has worked for me.
Im a young student and I found your post very funny. I know that having an odor atractive to a racoon is not a good thing. Im doing a project on smoking and it gave me more perspective. Thanks!
KEEP IT UP U R DOING A GREAT JOB BEST OF LUCK:)
Great article and more information.
carolina muscle Level 1 Commenter 23 months ago
LOL!!! What a hoot. A very funny post, thanks!!