Survival Gear for Rough-terrain Camping or the Zombie Apocalypse

The year is 2014. Sarah Palin is the president and she has somehow managed to accidently bring about a zombie apocalypse. Don’t ask how it happened – it just did, and it’s actually a best-case scenario if you ask me.

Living corpses are roaming the world and you see the once familiar faces of your friends and family, now semblances of their former selves. Except Uncle George, he actually looks better now. Anyways, the streets are lined with shambling ghouls and they are on the constant search for brains. Every day is a scramble to find shelter as you lookout for dangers and your own source of food with equal vigour.

You are absolutely alone and a last remaining human survivor on an Earth covered with quiet chaos. Sometimes you wonder if you would be better off as one of the countless killed in the initial frenzied wave of attack. But you also love camping so here’s a guide of cool survival gear for rough-terrain campers that if need be, could also serve you well after the zombie apocalypse.

Gerber 22-41121 Prodigy Survival Combat Knife by Gerber

Whether for cutting rope, scaling walls, or looking cool while cutting an apple, you will need a knife. During a zombie attack, you won’t be using a knife as a weapon because your foe will bite you pretty easily. But it would be very useful to have at your side anyways. If you ever find yourself in the forest desperate for food, you can stab yourself a dear and be set for a few days.

Ultimate Survival Technologies SaberCut Saw (Black) by Ultimate Survival Technologies

It’s called the SaberCut – enough said. Granted you will probably never be in a position to kill a flesh-eater with this thing, but imagine how satisfying it would be to have your hands on either end of this saw and swiftly zip off a dead man’s head. They look like they could even double as Nun-chucks.

WetFire Stove by Ultimate Survival Technologies by Ultimate Survival Technologies

This device will light up no matter how much rain – or blood – it is exposed to. Its portability makes it great for emergency camping situation or if you’re just trying to heat up can of beans you found in the ghoul-surrounded shopping mall.

6-in-1 Survival Shovel Tool by Guardian

6 in one means six ways to kill a zombie. This tool is like the Optimus Prime of shovels. It can be a shovel, hammer, saw, hatchet, can opener, and nail puller. That’s right a nail puller! So let’s say a zombie really liked a painting and you wanted to disappoint him, you could use the nail puller to take down that painting! Take that you art-loving freak!

Ultimate Survival Technologies JetScream Whistle by Ultimate Survival

It’s not that this thing will be all that useful to you. But haven’t you ever just wanted to walk out onto the street and blow a whistle like crazy. But you can’t because there are people around. But after the apocalypse you wouldn’t have to worry about anyone getting annoyed. It’s not like the undead are going to complain, in fact they’d probably be pretty happy you’re letting them know where they are. Oh wait, that’s not a good thing maybe this isn’t great zombie survival gear after all. Darnit, is there any place you can just blow a whistle really loudly and not have bad consequences?

Mountain House Spaghetti Pro-Pak Freeze Dried 1 Person Pouch

Zombies get to eat brains. You get to eat this stuff. Not sure who wins there.

8-Foot Lightweight Emergency Tube Pup Tent Camping Backpacking Survival

Welcome to your new home - hope you like cheap tents. It’s not as nice as your old house but the mortgage is worth about the same. In the woods, shelter is absolutely essential to surviving the elements. And when facing the walking dead you will want a shelter that is portable and lightweight that you can set up anywhere.

Survivor Emergency Kit-4 Person, Emergency Zone, Disaster Survival Kit, 72 Hour Kit

Sometimes you don’t feel like assembling a bunch of survival gear yourself. In those instances you can get a big survival pack that contains a lot of what you’ll need. Sure it’s expensive but after the apocalypse it’s not like you’re going to be paying for it. Hello...have you ever heard of looting? Pick up a new iphone while you’re at it.

Alright you’ve assembled your survival gear and you’re ready to stay alive. Here are a few final tips to make sure you live to see your next birthday. First off, please know what a zombie is. In movies whenever walking skeletons show up people have no idea what they are or what is happening. This is really annoying because it’s clearly zombies, who doesn’t know what they are? Also, people never kill members of their party who have been bitten by the undead. They wait until they transform into zombies after which they will undoubtedly bite or kill another member of the party. If someone is bitten, kill them right away! This is a perfect chance to use your Sabercut. Or for a faster kill feed them some of that freeze dried spaghetti. As you can see survival gear can have a multitude of uses. Make sure to be familiar with your tools and capitalize on your ingenuity to make sure you survive.

And if you’re just on a hardcore camping expedition, then you might want to have one or two of these emergency measures handy in case you run into trouble. Remember to always let someone else know where you're going and when you plan to get back. If you ever get lost then maintaining body heat is key. Set up a shelter and stay put. Keep yourself as strong as possible for as long as it takes for people to find you.